Stop Yelling At Me

I had to drive to Brigham City for work this week and I got lucky enough (said facetiously) to get the Ford Foci (thanks Brook) with GPS. Now this isn't the helpful, useful GPS that we all desire. No, this is the GPS tracker kind that records when you are speeding or happen to take a quick break at the Target to shop.

So I headed off down the road, while sticking the helpful, useful GPS (lovingly named Foster - Australian for GPS) on the windshield and typing in the address, and getting my MP3 player all ready to listen to my book, and putting my Bluetooth in my ear, and, and..... (yes, I do far too many things that I shouldn't while driving).

Anyway, as I was fumbling with everything, I heard some mumbled voice and paused, then just figured it was something on the radio, and I continued on my way.

I headed off down the freeway and accelerated to a normal speed preparing to set the cruise control. As I approached 65mph I was all ready to push that little cruise button when I hear SPEED VIOLATION. (And yes, the red and capitals are needed because that is how loud and mean it sounded).

Of course I freaked and immediately thought I was going to be murdered by the loud man in the backseat. Confused and befuddled, I continued on my way.

I was so happy to get outside Ogden and hit the 75mph zone. And again, out of nowhere the loud man yelled, SPEED VIOLATION. Of course I didn't want to upset the car, so I slowed down to about 73mph, but he just kept yelling at me for about five minutes.

I finally figured out it was the mean, hateful GPS in the car. I yelled back a few times stating I wasn't speeding. Then I realized that if it speaks it may be recording me as well..... so if you see me on YouTube freaking out in the car and yelling at nothing, I'm sorry.

(but do enjoy a few good laughs while watching)

I'm sure, at the very least, the car will send a report to Motorpool and then to my supervisor stating I was speeding and I had to be encouraged to slow down numerous time, when I wasn't even speeding and it was just being hateful!

I called Wendy and told her the car was yelling at me. She just laughed. I told her I can't handle the stress of a yelling car and she acknowledged this may push me over the edge (that I have been teetering on for a couple weeks). She suggested I tell our supervisor that the car was talking to me and she would think I had lost it and tell me to take a couple mental health days.

Wendy is definitely a thinker!

When I returned the car I told Motorpool that the car yelled at me and I wasn't even speeding. I told them I had better not get fired because the yelling was punishment enough. And I suggested they provide a disclaimer so when the mean man starts yelling the next person won't freak out and get in a wreck.

They should be glad I excelled in my defensive driving class!